As of this writing, I have been in counseling for almost a year.  My major struggle has been that since I came to the Lord as a child and was told that I was saved, I could never be sure of it, wavering back and forth with the question, "Am I really saved?" Deliverance issues aside, Pam warned me that until I was assured of my salvation, if I was in bondage to demons, she would not attempt to cast them out.  Even though  I had been taught that if you speak in tongues, you MUST be saved, I would not be assured.    I had spoken in what appeared to be a tongue but I felt that somehow, I had worked up a manifestation to prove to myself that I was saved, but in truth, I did not believe that the tongue that I spoke was "the real thing."  On occasion over the past 11 months it would seem to Pam and I that I was saved, but within a few weeks, I would doubt and waver again. Pam  indicated that until I myself was convinced and assured, that I really WAS NOT SAVED. SHE WAS RIGHT!

On December 26, 2006, I was talking with  Pam over the phone during my normal session time  and during the middle until the end of the session, the Holy Spirit revealed the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ to me. I was silent over the phone as I began to quietly cry. I got off of the phone with Pam and cried some more. Although, the crying is not a significant piece to believing in the resurrection, it does help me to explain how the Holy Spirit revealed Christ's resurrection to me. As Pam was talking during our session, in my spirit I felt AND KNEW BY FAITH THAT Jesus Christ was raised from the dead. I then wrote it down. Amazingly, Pam and I were not even talking about Christ's resurrection.  We were discussing scripture. We had also been talking about how I was unsure of my salvation experience still, as I have struggled constantly with the question; "Am I saved?"  Clearly, the revelation within my spirit of Jesus Christ's resurrection did not occur because I was already thinking about it or because Pam and I were talking about it. It should be mentioned though that even though we were not specifically discussing the Lord's resurrection on Dec. 26, Pam has consistently planted seeds about the resurrection over a 10 month period.  However, on December 26, 2006,  this revelation was completely revealed to me  by the Holy Spirit.  He is so good.

So, what is my revelation of the resurrection? It is so wonderful and powerful because this revelation gives me so much hope in Christ and my spirit feels alive.  I am alive! Because I was raised religiously in a legalistic Christian church,  it is hard to put into words how this happened and I do not want to exaggerate or go to extremes. I did not fall out in the spirit or begin to speak in tongues. It wasn't a dramatic emotional feeling or anything of that nature. Rather, it was quiet and my spirit was moved as I realized that Jesus really is alive still today. And it was deeper than head knowledge. I felt it in my spirit and I really believe that Jesus Christ is alive today and was raised from the dead. His flesh is NOT in the grave. His body has been resurrected, and was raised up by the Holy Spirit. He is alive and is at the right hand of the Father. I never realized how much power is in the resurrection until the Holy Spirit moved in my spirit. This is what separates me from every other religion. Jesus Christ is still alive! The power in His resurrection is real. Knowing that Jesus Christ is alive is like a seal over my forehead keeping me in Him and telling the world that there is no other god besides my God. I don't struggle with believing now. I don't have to go out and search every religion to know that this is the way. Having the resurrection revealed in my spirit has sealed my faith in Jesus Christ.

One of the most amazing and most beautiful things about the Holy Spirit revealing the resurrection of Jesus Christ to me is that it was not ME! It was not Pam! It was the Holy Spirit. However, Pam has played such a critical role in me coming to Christ. She has been faithful and has used the scripture to till the ground in my heart so that the Holy Spirit was able to come and reveal Jesus Christ. Although I have known scripture and I have known about Jesus and the resurrection, much ground had to be tilled still within me so that the Holy Spirit was able to work. Pam has been a pivotal figure in my journey to Christ. She is persistent, caring, truthful, willing to go to the depths of my soul, and most importantly, she is patient. I am also so thankful that she is so dedicated to the truth of Jesus Christ. Her discernment of spiritual matters has helped me to discern things of the flesh, soul, and spirit. I feel so blessed by God to have her by my side through this journey. I can finally declare now that on December 26, 2006, as faith was imparted to me by the Holy Spirit to believe by faith on the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, THAT I AM NOW SAVED!!!