EACH COMMENTARY BELOW WAS WRITTEN BY A FORMER CLIENT
A Former Client from Texas
In February of 2006 I contacted Pam regarding two issues. I was doubtful of my salvation and I was uncertain of my five year romantic relationship. Without the grace of God, I would not be in the place I am today. The LORD used Pam to expose truth in my life and lead me to the real Jesus Christ.
The pentecostal church that I attended growing up placed a great deal of emphasis on how the THINGS in one's life was going to cause him to go to Hell, such as a t.v or drinking. From such religiosity much confusion about who Christ is and how He works in my life was present. I also entered into sexual activity with another girl in the church. We were only eleven years old. Her mother was actually the Pastor's wife who happened to be reading sex novels. My friend's mother let her read these sexual books and we read them together. From these novels my friend and I were sexually aroused and then finally one day we began to sexually arouse one another. I knew that what we were doing was wrong and I felt a lot of guilt and condemnation. We finally stopped due to life circumstances drawing us apart.
So, not only as a virgin did I have a sexual past but I also had a very religious past. If I did not have religion, I don't think the sexual past would have caused so much guilt because I would not have had a life to compare with my sin. But because on Sunday I heard about Jesus and then during the week I lived a sinful life, I experienced condemnation. The worst part is that I thought I was saved and I was trying to live a saved person's life while being a complete sinner. I was blind to the fact that I wasn't saved because I thought I got saved when I was five years old. Clearly, I did not understand salvation at five years old and the fruit of my life was apparent to me as a sinner at the ripe age of eleven. I tried the religious ways I was taught to be saved at eleven years old by repeating the "sinner's" prayer. I thought that every time I sinned I had to repeat the sinner's prayer to be saved again. After all if I had a t.v., I was going to Hell. If I sinned, I was going to Hell so I had to get saved again and covered by the blood of Jesus again to go to heaven.
Years later, after I thought I had dealt with my sexual past through repentance in the "religious way", I met a man in high school. Him and I were very good friends and after a year of friendship we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. About eight months later we began to kiss and touch each other, arousing sexual desires. Before long I was experiencing orgasms with him, without having sex. Throughout this time I did belong to a church and again I began to feel guilt and condemnation.
So when I was nineteen years old, I found Pam off of the internet and decided to contact her.I still remember my first session with Pam. She asked me several questions to discover the problems I faced in my life. I felt nervous answering honestly as some of the questions were deep into the core of my sinful nature. But when I hung up the phone, I remember feeling a sense of freedom and it was only my first session! We spent a lot of time talking about the sexual activity I participated in, in my past. We also spent a lot of time discussing my current relationship, which was very confusing to me. The sexual activity in the relationship made my decision harder to make concerning whether or not I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. Things that were pertinent to me concerning a life long partner were easily overlooked because of the sexual aspect. Pam helped me see those critical issues and made me look at my relationship regardless of the sexual activity. Without Pam I could not have sorted through this relational mess! I was very confused.
Finally after ten months of counseling I received the joy of the resurrection of Jesus Christ as the Holy Spirit moved in my spirit. On December 26, 2006, I was born again. Pam and I had spent ten months talking about Jesus, the cross, and His resurrection. Believing in Jesus did not eliminate the possibility of bondage in my life. Even after I got saved I was struggling with perverse thoughts. Although I can still remember them, I no longer struggle with that and I am no longer tormented by perverse thoughts.. But in my salvation came the joy of knowing that Jesus is still alive and by knowing that Jesus is alive, sin looses its power over me. I don't have to be scared of Satan. I don't have to be scared of the repetition of my past or that sin is going to take control over me. I have to be a woman of decisiveness in Christ. I cannot allow room for passivity.
The first year with Pam was the hardest and yet it was the most liberating experience of my life! Pam is forward, direct, honest, compassionate, a listener, patient, and consistent. It was difficult to receive direct and honest advice and yet when I allowed myself to accept it, I felt freer. I believe the hardest part about counseling was to put the advice into practice and to be held accountable for my actions. I was not able to hear what my "itching ears" wanted to hear. I fought a battle between my flesh and my spirit. My flesh wanted to test God by playing with sin. I thought, "Why am I trying to stay away from sin when I do not even think I am saved?" Now that I think about it, it follows closely to the mindset of, "eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die." It was incredibly frustrating to try so hard to be saved by saying a prayer or to force it upon myself to believe. I wanted to believe so badly and yet all I had was knowledge. I finally gave up the repetition of prayers to be saved. I came to a place to say, "No matter what, He is good and I trust in Him."
Intertwined in my frustration to be saved was my romantic relationship with a man I was with since I was fourteen. I am twenty one years old. I had a lot of confusion with him. He treated me very well and we got along but I felt like he was not the right man for me. I felt a lot of familiarity with him since we had been together for five years. I felt trapped to be in a relationship for so long at such a young age. Even though we never had sex, we did find ways to experience sexual pleasures. I felt a lot of condemnation for how I was living my life and my thought life was filled with perversity. I wanted to be free from condemnation, guilt, and my sinful nature. Pam discussed with me several times how my sinful nature will never go away. Instead, it must be put to death DAILY. She also repeatedly said, "There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." Several concepts I was taught as a child were kneaded through with Pam as false teachings were exposed. Much of my time spent in counseling has been learning who the REAL Jesus Christ is and exposing the FAKE Jesus I was taught.
Finally on January 6, 2007 the Holy Spirit put the resurrection of Jesus Christ in my spirit. For almost a year Pam and I weekly talked about the cross and the significance of His death and resurrection. Pam re-taught me the word of God and through hearing and hearing of the real Jesus Christ my heart was tilled. I could not have believed upon Jesus Christ on my own. I needed a messenger. I needed someone to help me come to Jesus Christ. I had so much confusion in my mind and wavering actions in my life that I needed a strong Christian by my side. The Lord used Pam to be my messenger. Pam and I spent a lot of time discussing the condemnation I felt in my past, the religiosity I experienced growing up, the perverse thoughts I was having, and the orgasms I was experiencing in my relationship. Because of counseling I am not in a relationship with that man any longer and I am not having orgasms. I will not have another orgasm until I marry. I am also born again.
My life has taken a completely different direction than where it was headed two years ago. Pam never controlled, manipulated, or made my decisions for me. I have learned that no one can change your life or make your choices for you. I remember feeling slightly disappointed that Pam couldn't change my life. I laugh to think I thought this way. Only I can walk in the direction Pam has pointed and at the same time I can do nothing without Christ. He chose me. I see how fragile my situation was. I could have ignored the probing within my spirit to seek a counselor. I could have explained the confusion away. But, I know I would have continued to be a slave to sin and never been free from the condemnation of my past.
I am thankful for Pam. She never gave up on me. When most people would have said, "I'm done. Your case is over. I have done everything possible. Have a nice day." She waited until I KNEW that I am saved and continued to sort through the confusion in my life. I no longer have confusion. I am not confused. It is so good to say that! I am not confused. I am saved. I am born again. I am no longer in a confusing relationship. Pam, thank you. Because of you and because of your willingness to be used by God, I KNOW that I am saved by His grace and I am no longer consumed in a futile relationship that was not of God.
A FORMER CLIENT FROM ALASKA
As long as I remember, my problem had been self hate. It manifested itself in perfection, fear, anger and anxiety. Before entering deliverance counseling with Pam, I had gone to counseling with a good Christian counselor. I had also read every bondage breaking book I could get my hands on and I was pretty sure I had narrowed it down to the root of the issue yet I still was not free. I was hurting my family, especially my children with my reckless and out of control behavior. I was the dog that kept going back to the vomit! I hated my sin enough to face it and be delivered but I really needed some counsel in this area. In just two hourly sessions and one 30 minute session with Pam, I have found complete deliverance.
Pam identified my problem as being the unseen work of the religious demon. In my case, growing up in the home I grew up in convinced me that any form of pride was bad, so I believed this lie and Satan capitalized on it and used it against me. I was in constant need of outside confirmation or approval and could not feel any self respect without it. False humility manifested itself in me with a driving need to convince others of how humble I was. I would do this by punishing myself.
I believe that my deliverance manifested so quickly because In between counseling sessions, I listened to several of Pam's audio messages and I also read several chapters from each of her 3 books. I really like Pam's truthful approach. I too am pretty straight forward and I appreciate that in other people. As far as the healing I have received, I am convinced something "broke loose" for me. I don't think it required a lot of time because like a rotting tooth, it was ready to fall out and I was looking for a good dentist. Pam happened to be my competent and skilled spiritual dentist and I am so grateful! I am really feeling the weight lifted off of me. I never want to go back to how I was and with God's sovereign hand on my heart, I won't.
A FORMER CLIENT FROM GEORGIA
When I was a young girl, I was visited by a demonic spirit. I remember to this day, what his form looked like and how I faced him as a child. When I told my parents, they took it as a dream. However, I knew better. From the moment that I encountered that demon, my life was never the same. As a child, I suffered numerous attacks by men. I was never ever safe again. I suffered continuously. I was molested as a child by a cousin who is now a pastor in my home town. As a teen-ager I still encountered the same things, including numerous attempted rape attacks. As a young woman, I began to rebel against those attacks and when Satan sent another demonic force into my life, I fell into the belief that I was born gay. I was a practicing lesbian for approximately 5 years, including moving to another state and separating myself from my family to live that lifestyle.
While there, I became born again, receiving Jesus Christ into my life. I also received a call to ministry. It was the most joyous time in my life, to feel the love of God. I was so eager to live, eat, breathe the word of God. I also was the first female to be ordained into my family---which is a family of ministers. My father and uncles are all pastors. Three years after being ordained, I began to discern darkness around me and I even began to discern that same darkness around others also. My fear of what was going on in my life had left me stagnant. I was not growing in the Lord and I maintained an overwhelming feeling of being lethargic. My nights were terrible. I could barely sleep. I would wake up in the night exhausted, go to the refrigerator and eat. I was no longer reading the bible or praying. I was living a lie and I knew that all the battles I faced as a child and an adult were minimal compared to what I was going through spiritually
At this point in my life, I contacted Pastor Pam for counselling. I felt like soon I would be exposed for the nominal Christian that I was. I knew that I was faking it, and that my anointing seemed as though it was gone. Pastor Pam was very patient with me even though I was wavering. I knew that I should resign from the Eastern Stars cult, but I just couldn't seem to send in my letter of resignation and I was continuing to discuss the matter and receive counsel from women who were steeped in the Eastern Stars. Furthermore, I booked a flight to New York, but then because of job responsibilities, I had to cancel.
As a result, Pastor Pam and I entered into a relatively extensive counselling communication online and on the telephone. She assessed my problem and advised me that the root cause of my present bondage was centered in the witchcraft demon in collaboration with a religious demon because of my involvement in the Masonic lodge. She also pointed to a demon of unforgiveness where the men in my life were concerned, particularly my father who had abandoned me and my cousin who had molested me. She stated that this unforgiveness linked me to other demons of hatred and bitterness. She also assessed that I was being oppressed by an incubus demon, a demon that specializes in sexual lust with either men and/or women. She advised me that the reason why I was so exhausted was because the incubus demon was causing my own spirit to travel to the men that I hated to try to destroy them.
Then one day, a rather strange thing happened. I began to cry and could not stop. It frightened me, so I called Pastor Pam late one evening. She scheduled an emergency counseling session, counselling and praying for me for about an hour. She advised me that the Holy Spirit was causing me to repent and that this was a "good thing" and nothing to be frightened of. As I have learned from Pastor Pam, repentance is the first key to deliverance. Shortly thereafter, another supernatural thing occurred. All of a sudden, I knew in my head who the demons were that were tormenting my life. I received three names: Metosite, Xastur and Jamia. This was extremely unsettling because we both looked these names up on the web, only to find out that these are actually the names of demons. In the short of it, Metosite was the witchcraft demon, Xastur the religious spirit, and Jamia was the incubus spirit, the sexual predator and hater of men. By now, I was really frightened. I even found a picture of Jamia. She looked like a cross between a cat and a bear, very voluptuous looking, with a long tail.
Pastor Pam continued to remind me to send in my resignation to the masonics and I continued to procrastinate. This strengthened the spirit of Jamia which seduced me into sexual sin. However, Pastor Pam was there for me and helped to restore me. In the midst of it all, my estranged father became extremely ill and was not expected to live. I contacted Pastor Pam and revealed to her that I felt bad that at first, I did not feel any compassion for my father. At this point in time, I really cannot explain what happened. The Holy Spirit just took charge as Counselor. He helped me to reconcile with my father and brought forth supernatural forgiveness in my heart for what I had perceived to have been his abandonment of my family. On his sick bed, my father prophesied to me that I would pick up his mantle and have an even more powerful deliverance ministry then his had been. He also told me that he wanted to go home and be with the Lord, but his sickness seemed to be holding on indefinitely.
It looked like Satan wanted my father to endure pain and suffering and that a demon was preventing my father from being able to release his spirit from his sick body. This is where Pastor Pam came in. Miraculously, she was sent to my state for business reasons. Anyway, the Lord arranged it so that we could make contact. The Lord also arranged it that I would drive her to the airport. Hours prior to takeoff, Pastor Pam came with me to visit my father at his sickbed. While there, she prayed for my father and then commanded the spirit of infirmity to leave him. While she was yet on the airplane, my father peacefully went to glory, Praise His Holy Name.
On Friday night during the memorial service of my father's funeral, I was privileged to preach a brief word that I entitled " I am my Father's daughter." While on the platform, I looked into the face of my cousin--- the man who molested me so many years ago. I felt an instant release. It took all of my strength to walk down off that platform, tell my father's wife goodbye and then make it to my car. I cried so hard, I asked God to forgive me and remove the root of evil from me, and then all went silent. I can honestly say, that I was delivered of that final demon that night. Something in me tore loose, was uprooted and snatched from the belly and sent back to the "dry places." Even now, writing this I have no more malice or hatred. All is well.. I feel 50 pounds lighter.
On Saturday at the funeral, I asked my cousin to come and speak with me. I told him face to face that I forgave him and asked him to forgive me for carrying the hatred for so long. He began to cry and told me how he had lived with the shame, how it had overwhelmed his life. He also confessed, that in spite of this shameful sin, the Lord had done so many things for him. He told me that he had never ever done anything like that to anyone else.. He said that the devil was in his life when he had molested me. I told him that I would never ever mention it again, and that we could be family. I told my cousin that if God could forgive me for hating him so, then certainly I could forgive him. I gave him a hug and all is now well between us. I feel so grateful and so humbled at what God can truly do.. I feel so wrapped in his anointing, I know that He is using this incident in my life for a reason. There is a Word for someone.
So what ever happened to those 3 big and bad demons? They simply left. The torment is completely over and done with. They fled because they could not stand under the power of reconciliation, love and forgiveness. With Pastor Pam's commitment to my deliverance, I was able to successfully resist them. Books have been written about the power of the Masonic Lodge, with several affirmations, confessions and prayers that they claim must be repeated in order to break the Masonic/witchcraft-religious demonic curse. Not so, in my case. And I strongly believe that they did not have to be cast out simply because I am an ordained minister. They left because I did the work of standing. I may have wavered, and even fallen into sin. But I got back up and I stood on the power of the Name of Jesus, having done ALL to stand, I successfully resisted them. Furthermore, as counselor to client, Pastor Pam and I stayed in total agreement. One can chase a thousand but two in agreement is an unbeatable team. The blood of Christ was covering us.
One other thing I do know. Satan uses the evil devices of men to prey upon young girls through sexually deviant behavior. Oh but God, sent me to Pastor Pam , and I have been free every since. My spirit is so free. I am not having to fill my soul back up to keep away the demonic forces that may attempt to follow me or return. Pastor Pam is doing a mighty work for God, with this deliverance counseling model. At he completion of my counseling, I entered into the SEW Training Program for Deliverance Counselors. Before it is done, she will have trained men &, women from across the Globe to cover the corners of the world with powerful warriors for our Father. Satan will have to be extra careful when walking to and fro seeking to devour. God has given Pastor Pam an awesome charge and a gift to help other saints to become warriors for warfare. I have personally seen the battle field and it will take those of us who have been infested with the mess to stand boldly on the frontlines. I know that Pastor Pam recognizes the vision. My testimony is only small potatoes compared to what God is going to truly do for her and thru her.
A FORMER CLIENT FROM WASHINGTON
Seek God and His righteousness and all of these things shall be added unto you." I am amazed at the simplicity of God. My nature is to make things complicated. But, God, He makes it so simple. Just seek Him and the rest will fall into place. I don't have to worry about my life, marriage, or career. All He asks of me is that I seek Him and love Him with ALL of my heart, mind, and soul. I am specifically writing this journal piece as a demonstration of the evidence of Jesus Christ in my life that is absolutely undeniable.
Since my youth the Lord has heard my cry and desperation. As a child I was sexually abused and I enjoyed it. Although I did not realize exactly what I was doing, I knew that what I did was wrong. In my attempted to get out of the abominable sin, I approached my mother and she led me to the cross in repentance. Unfortunately, I did not write down this experience although it was one of the most dramatic experiences I have ever had. I remember taking a nap later that day and having a dream about Jesus Christ dying on the cross and raising from the dead. In my youth and adulthood, I have always had very real dreams. I have even dreamed of demons. However, I must admit that this was the scariest dream I have ever had and it was about Jesus Christ.
Due to the extreme religiosity in my life I do not know if that was the day that I truly got saved. I was about 11 years old and I had a basic concept of Jesus Christ but I also had several misunderstandings of who He is. Even now I struggle with really knowing Him and due to this struggle I have to ask myself, ?did it really happen as a child?' I am aware of the devil and I know that he is playing a part in this spiritual battle.
I look at my life and I look at the children of Israel and I see similarities. God parted the Red Sea for His people and He has also parted the Red Sea in my life. I have witnessed and been a part of miracles. EVERYTIME I cry out to Him, He somehow meets with me. It is never in the way that I expect it but I know that He is here and has heard me. One of the biggest blessings in my life now is Pam, my counselor. She is like a security blanket for me. I am searching for God and she is helping me to find Him.
This journey is becoming more of a way of knowing Him than about a particular instance of transformation. My life is a journey and a process of being transformed and knowing Him. And as I think upon this I must speak of this spiritual battle within me. The subtleties of life and the work of God is tremendous. God parts the Red Sea, He hears my cry, and I believe. But then, the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy and create a doubt in my mind of who Christ is and His existence. And to that I say that Jesus Christ is risen from the dead! I was in counseling with Pam last week and telling her how at times I doubt God. She did not say this to me directly but at one point within me I felt a revelation and wrote on my paper, 'Jesus raised from the dead.' As I write this now I realize that this revelation was a big piece to my doubt. The power that is in Christ's resurrection is the power to fight the enemy. When I begin to doubt, I now remember that Jesus Christ is still alive and He has risen from the dead. I put the enemy must back into his place because Jesus is real and He is risen.
